Check out the I Am Her Podcast

 

Open to love

 I have been presented love  , and it has been a long time since I have felt pure essence in love from a man. Being single for so many years I have been in my healing and very cautious when associating with men. 

I know that being vulnerable is a scary feeling for all of us.  We have all touched a hot stove more than once.  

What we have to unlearn is subjecting our selves to pain and saving our hearts for actually feels right. At some point we have to open up for the right things. 

Open up for love.  Accept it rather it works or not and just enjoy the moments. 

Coach Miko

Did you do your part?

 

Knowing that you did your part is most important. You can only do what you can do in regards to human interaction. You must await the responses or lack of response from the other person , if you want to wait. You cannot force anyone to see things your way or even be interested in what you are offering; Rather it is your friendship , your love , your help or anything else. As long as you did what you felt you needed to then you should move forward in peace that it will work out the way that it is suppose to.

Coach Miko

The Ego Verses The Soul

The reason why I wanted to discuss Ego versus Soul is because it appears to me that most human beings live through their egos and they have not yet become in touch with their soul, not a very pleasant way to live not for yourself nor the people that are close to you so I want to do a little discovery so that maybe we can begin to understand how we can live through our souls. 

The ego is obsessed with competition On the other hand the soul is cooperative. The ego usually expresses itself with self will the soul on the other hand expresses a God's will OK. The ego at most times has no agendasis aimless it's just out here and it's consumed with desires and trends and possessions and ads, but the echo has a clear sense of True purpose And meaningful things in life. 

Coach Miko

Learning to just be quiet.

 Ladies everything that comes to mind does not need to e shared or said aloud. A wise woman once said that "Silence is golden". When you feel compelled to go off and tll someone like it is, stop and think. Is is nice? Is it worth it? What does this change in my life?  Take a few deep breaths and wonder if it will just be  waste of energy ? That energy could be directed to something better right?

Listen to the I AM Her Podcast former on this!!!

You are enough

Ladies, 

You are enough for the the people and things that belong in your life and never too much for those things. If someone makes you question that , you may need to re-evaluate that relationship or friendship. Relationships should bring additional goodness to your life, not self doubt and insecure feelings.

Everyone will not understand you.

You do not need to justify people why you choose to entertain only certain standards in your life, and with the people you choose to engage with . Focus giving your time and attention to those who are willing to and committed to meet you at those standards . Go where you will be valued and leave those who try to question you for it. You don not owe an explanation to anybody. 

How do you know that someone is toxic?

If you feel uneasy around someone or have to prepare yourself mentally to interact with someone , they may be toxic to you. Your body tells you when you aren't comfortable, your intuition is real. Be attentive, when they aren't happy for your victories or only want to talk about themselves or things that they know may hurt you. It is up to you what you choose to do , but remember that he choice is yours.

If you have confidential comments or would like feedback please go to our website www.iamherlv.com contact form and I will personally respond to you .

Let it burn - Photo Credit : Ashy Keba

Let it burn, and I mean in a good way... In the famous words of J.Sullivan ,  "When you feel that fire let it burn". I know that allowing someone back in and letting your guard down to open up your feelings are scary, however you are stronger than you think. You have made it through %100 of your pain and the possibility of true love stands behind the other side of the door. You must take a chance at love if you ever want it real and true.  There was a time when I felt that love just wasn't for me and that maybe I was meant to be single forever. That is the kind of mind set that will keep you there. I'd rather continue in believing that there are good people out there and that when it is my time he will find , cherish and honor me.

Coach Miko

Affirmation:

Repeat this to yourself daily:

I am an asset to anything that I am involved in.

Meditation Music, Stress Relief Music, Relaxing Music, Sleep Music,

Try listening. I would like to share with those who are interested these soothing meditation sounds. This has become so important in my life. Feel free to ask questions.

Coach Miko

Feeling Overwhelmed

Feeling emotionally overwhelmed can cause you to feel high levels of anxiety. I noticed that I personally feel overwhelmed do to the amount of time that I have spent solely managing everything  in my life. Being a  single mother, I manage my home independently , I am a sole business owner , so I manage the business all by myself as well. This can also be hard when you have a life partner. I have adapted to not asking for help , I began to feel that way after noticing that people really didn't seem to have time or maybe even the energy to have even a listening ear. These things can very well contribute to anxiety , leading to the feeling of being overwhelmed. I will share some tips on tomorrow on how to manage such things!

Her words of Wisdom

Give your attention to what you want to see in life and be grateful about it.

Single-Settled-Satisfied

Sure you'd love to have it all right now, but rushing will never give you what you deserve, something lasting and real. Use this time to invest in yourself, knowing that when the time comes to deposit into a relationship , you won't bankrupt your heart, nor will you default on your promise to stay as loyal and consistent as it takes.

Healing Hurts

You may think that you have healed ,and then you realize that you need to heal some more.
Sometimes you have to sit in your stuff and call yourself out.Once you begin holding yourself accountable, forgiving yourself, etc. that is when the true healing will start.

Now listen... Healing never ends, you just reach new levels.
I love it here.

Her words of Wisdom

Do not feel bad for moving on without someone, if you do not let go of the wrong people you will never find the right ones.

If I talk about it I'll cry, so it's a secret. (Cont'd from post below)

Does one or more idea come to mind as a secret ? You may not feel safe discussing it because you are afraid of being judged, which probably means that you do not feel that there is a trustworthy person to express your thoughts with. Now that doesn't mean that there is no one trustworthy around you , however your perspective on this is what matters the most.

You may also not discuss these thought or feelings because some information is just that personal to you and that too is perfectly ok.

If you do not have anyone to confide in, you may feel unsupported which can cause frustration, anger or sadness and those are normal emotions.

If you feel that it is important to share please consider exploring someone professionally, such as a spiritual adviser , therapist etc.

If I talk about it I'll cry, so it's a secret.

How many secrets do you have?
Why don't  you feel safe discussing it? Do you have a confidant?
How does that make you feel? How can you change this?

Write the answers down. I will be discussing in my next post.

Her words of Wisdom

If it doesn't feel good after you have done it, then you shouldn't do it. Do not put their feelings first if it will cause you pain or contributes to self destruction. Just say no and do not feel bad about it.

He may not be able to love a Goddess, be a Goddess anyway. You are the prize. keep that mindset!

Has he been there for you?

Purpose

I have learned to appreciate myself and my purpose. My purpose may not be understood by anyone else ,however that does no make any difference.  For some of us you may never feel understood by others. Some may even struggle with the fact that you are misunderstood or that no "gets you" . One day you will begin to understand yourself and when that begins ,you will also begin to care less of the understanding or approval of others. I will touch on this a a lot in my writting. Learning  to be complete within myself took a lot and boy was it all worth it .

Be yourself, that's why you are here , not to prove your worth to anyone except for yourself.

Her words of Wisdom

Woman,

You are resilient. It is not too late to begin a new! Give yourself all that you deserve.

I almost forgot me

There was a time , many years ago in which I was so consumed with everyone else in my life , and  that was all that mattered. I woke up every morning to get my children ready for school, husband at the time for work and then I would leave for the day to work myself.

After work , I immediately would return home to help with homework, cook dinner, iron everyones clothes etc. I was married with three children, a spouse that both worked and went to school, therefor I managed the home, (children, maintenance, finances, bill payments etc.) I never had time for me , nor did it ever cross my mind. I was just happy being a wife and mom with a call center job that paid well. I had been  with my then husband for 8 years and all I wanted to do was be a wife and mom. I really thought that that was the perfect life .

Now while I loved those things, I never took time for myself. When my marriage ended I realized that I didn't really know myself or what I wanted or needed. I had totally forgotten myself.  I was 27 years old at the time of my divorce, but once I was out on my own , I began to learn that all of the years that I was just rolling through daily life managing everyone that , what strength it took.  I found out that I love make up and hair and bags and shoes. I realized that I had to begin my career in the field of my dreams , I realized that I had an amazing since of humor. It took me years to not feel guilty for showing myself some love, but now I freely do so!!! Try it!

Happy Friday!